FML Tonights the night…maybe
I hate my life. What am I living for? I’m so tired. I wanna die. SHIT!! Goodbye world…tonight might be my last.
So, I started this new school…again. You would think it would be easier making friends since I moved schools so many times….it doesn’t. Actually I don’t even if I have friends at my new school. Sure I have these two girls I talk to..but their kinda like acquaintances. Also they happen to be in a younger grade then me so it’s not like we are bonding over classes or anything. My school is super small. Right now in the whole school is probably made up with around…28 students? Yup. Freshmen through seniors. On the good side everyone is pretty much family…on the bad side…I’m not part of that “family”. Also I’m the only colored person there. I guess there arn’t alot of adopted pacific islanders out there….so thats hard. I never experienced being isolated and so quiet before. usually I already have friends…but I don’t…..it makes me depressed and sad. I think…is there something wrong with me? Am I too fat…or what? it’s hard. My mom keeps telling me it will get better but honestly? It hasn’t. And it’s been three weeks. I’m getting bad again, but as usual no one knows. I cut myself more often and I’m more depressed than ever. I just want some one to reach out and be my friend. I wanna hang out. I just want to be happy…I fucking hate high school